The picture I have posted is one of our critters in the garden with his own eating and exercise style. He hangs upside down and eats. When he wants another bite of corn he does his form of a sit up to reach the food and then goes back down to eat. We can learn so much from watching life in the garden.
I know it has been a while since I have posted a newsletter. I apologize to all of you. My life has been full of challenges and I have needed the time to go inside and process what life has been bringing to me lately. Or another way to look at is what and why have I attracted these occurrences to my life at the present time? One of my core issues that kept coming up is that when I wanted time for myself or even to do something just for me I thought/accused myself of being selfish. Boy that early programming is hard to put aside. The very thing I have needed to do in order to process and stay quiet inside I considered “bad’ therefore putting myself in a catch 22.
A few mornings ago I woke up and found a message in my E-mail relating to my very issue. Isn’t it great when we get the answers that even have only thought about?
"One of the last things any of us want to be called is 'selfish.' It has a very negative connotation in our society. We often end up doing things we don't want to do to avoid being considered or seen as selfish by others.
In my counseling work with people, I often hear the questions, 'Aren't I being selfish if I take care of myself instead of take care of everyone else? Am I being selfish if I do what I want instead of what someone else wants me to do?'
The problem occurs because of an excessively broad, inaccurate, and/or skewed definition of 'selfish.'
To be more specific, we are being selfish when:
• We 'expect' others to give themselves up for us.
• We make others responsible for our feelings of pain and joy.
• We get angry at others for doing what they want to do rather than doing what we want them to do.
• We consistently make our own feelings, wants, needs, and desires most important without also considering others' feelings, wants, needs, and desires.
• We believe we are entitled to special treatment, as if life and the world owed us something.
However, we are being self-responsible (vs. selfish) when:
• We take care of our own feeling, wants, desires, and needs rather than 'expecting' others to take care of us.
• We support others in doing what brings them joy, even when they are not doing what we want them to do.
• We show caring toward others for the joy it gives us rather than out of fear, obligation, or guilt.
• We have the courage to take loving action on our own behalf, even if someone gets angry with us. For example, we go to bed early because we are tired, even if our partner gets angry at us for not watching a movie or TV show with him or her.
• We have the courage to speak our truth about what we will or will not do, and what we do or do not feel, rather than give ourselves up to avoid criticism, anger, or rejection.
Giving ourselves up to avoid being called selfish is not self-responsible - in fact, it is manipulative and dishonest. When we give ourselves up to avoid criticism or letting someone down, we are trying to control how others feel about us.
Taking loving care of ourselves, with no intent to harm another is self-responsible. Yet we are often called 'selfish' when we take care of ourselves in this way.
Therefore, it is important for each of us to define selfishness and self-responsibility for ourselves so that we are not dependent upon others' definition of it and us. When you become secure in knowing that you not only have the right, but the responsibility, to support your own joy and highest good - with no intent to harm another - then you will not be tempted to give yourself up when someone tells you that you are selfish for not doing what he or she wants you to do.
When you are secure in knowing that your own intent is a loving one toward yourself and others, you do not have to manipulate others into defining you as caring by totally giving yourself up."
Dr. Margaret Paul, Ph.D., in Healing Your Aloneness
Feeling Our Words
Words Have Weight
Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. Most of us can remember a time that someone sent a word our way, and it stuck with us. It may have been the first time we received a truly accurate compliment, or the time a friend or sibling called us a name, but either way it stuck. This experience reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that being conscious means being aware of how we use words.
The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we use so that we speak from a place of actually feeling what we are saying. We begin to recognize that words are not abstract, disconnected entities used only to convey meaning; they are powerful transmitters of feeling. For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.
You may notice that when we speak quickly, without thinking, or rush to get our ideas across, our words don't carry the same power as when we speak slowly and confidently, allowing those receiving our words time and space to take them in. When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech. Then our words can be intelligent messengers of healing and light, transmitting deep and positive feelings to those who receive them.
Relating To The Negative
The Danger Of Repression
For the last several years, there has been a lot of focus on the power of positive thinking. Many people have come to misinterpret this wisdom to mean that it is not okay to have a bad mood or a negative thought or feeling. This can lend a kind of superficiality to their relationship with life and relationships with other people. It can also lead them to feel that if a negative thought or feeling comes up, in themselves or someone else, they must immediately block it out. When they do this, they are engaging in the act of repressing a part of themselves that needs to seen, heard, and processed.
When we repress parts of ourselves, they don’t go away so much as they get buried deep within us, and they often come out when we least expect it. On the other hand, if we allow ourselves to be fully human, honoring all the thoughts, feelings, and moods that pass through us on a given day, we create a more conscious relationship with ourselves. Instead of blocking out thoughts and feelings that we label as negative, we can simply observe them and then let them go. They only get stuck when we react to them negatively, pushing them down and out of sight where they get lodged in our unconscious minds. A healthier solution might be to develop a practice of following any negative thought we may have with a positive thought. This works well because positive thoughts are many times more powerful than negative thoughts.
Rather than setting our minds up in such a way that we become fearful of the contents of our own consciousness, blocking out anything that is less than 100 percent positive, we might resolve to develop a friendlier attitude toward ourselves, trusting in our inherent goodness. When we recognize our true inner worth, a few dark clouds passing through our minds will not intimidate us. We will see them for what they are—small, dark figures passing through an expansive sky of well-being and truth.
An invitation from two of my Reiki Friends:
Laurelle writes “This morning I awoke to inner whispers "Reiki hour...Reiki hour...Reiki hour...ask them...ask them....ask them...Reiki hour."
Reiki hour is the same concept as earth hour with Reiki of course...Reiki enhances everything
Sunday night(s) at 9:00 p.m. in their local time zone Reiki practitioners turn off all non-essential lights, and we become the light.
First we telepathically connect with one another using the distant Reiki symbol, thus becoming one united light. Then we send Reiki with the pure intention "Peace, Love, Health, Prosperity and Well-being for all beings." At the same time we visualize a world at peace and the earth returning to a healthy state of balance; see the air, streams, rivers and seas being cleansed.
For those who wish to participate, this can also be a wonderful way to personally receive a Reiki treatment at the same time. Simply be open to bathe in the energy as you are sending Reiki out. Group sessions of this nature enhance the strength of Reiki's healing power exponentially.
So as those inner whispers encouraged me to do this morning...I am asking... Will you please join us for Reiki hour at 9 p.m. Sunday night? That is 9 p.m. in your own time zone and we will create a wave of Reiki energy across the planet.
We plan to do this every Sunday night for the immediate future, and perhaps beyond. We hope you will join us.
Peace and blessings
Laurelle & Michael
I invite you to watch the lovely short movie “May you be Blessed” Just follow the link
www.MeditativeMovies.com/MayYouBeBlessed.htm
Here is a picture of Texas wildflowers taken this weekend, Yes I went away and had fun!
Remember always that as you bless others, you instantly receive the blessing ...
Blessings and Love,
Mari
